By Fatima Zahra Muhammad
I have always held the notion that I wasn’t a people person. I hated socializing as much as I loved solitude.
This wasn’t just with outsiders, I was the same way even with family. Not that I hated people, but I just didn’t know how to relate to them.
I recently came across some of my primary school classmates. We got talking online more than a decade after we graduated and one of them, whose full name I had forgotten, said to me, ” I remember you, you used to be the most reserved person in our class”.
Tell me why I wasn’t shocked when he said that.
In my final year in the university, I was nominated and won an award as the most reserved person in our class.
My introversion was that deep.
The challenge for me in this context was balancing my introversion from a very young age.
I always thought that this is who I am and have long embraced my personality.
But as life would have it, certain situations call for a deviation from what we know as the norm.
In this essay, I take the reader through how I took the bold and beneficial step to step out of my comfort zone and confront my fear of people.
During my teenage years, I assumed that I had reached a stage of self-awareness whereby my personality trait shouldn’t be something to worry about.
I had taken my introversion as a part of me that I didn’t need to change. I felt zero pressure to conform.
My mindset as a teenager was led by the hope that I will meet people who understood my introversion and were willing to let me be.
For as long as this phase lasted, I held the notion that social connections were not necessarily a must for one to enjoy life.
However, time and experience would later teach me that without completely letting go of my introversion, there were times when it became mandatory for me to move out of my comfort zone in the interest of my personal and professional growth.
Learning that I needed to find a balance was a challenge that I can proudly say I have surmounted.
Being in the field of journalism, networking, and assertiveness are regarded by many as vital aspects of the job.
Unfortunately for me, both did not align with my personality.
I struggled with analysis paralysis, otherwise known as overthinking. This habit made me lag at work. I was constantly worried about what people thought about me and that made me scared to do anything. A lot of times, I failed to do my work well because I wasted time overthinking its outcome.
I would later realize that I have been undermining my abilities and selling myself short.
In hindsight, I see so many opportunities I missed because I couldn’t create a balance between my introverted nature and extroversion.
Another way this affected my professional life was the way I constantly struggled with relating with people.
In this business, people were the lifeline. Your stories won’t be a figment of your imagination, you have to meet people to be able to tell any kind of story.
about finding a solution to my problem beyond that.
To me, it was a huge obstacle that would require too much of my attention and for that, I wasn’t ready.
In breaking this obstacle, the first thing I did was to tell myself that I wasn’t going to see my introversion as a limitation. Instead, this was a trait that made up who I was, the same way an extrovert could be assertive and forward going.
The reader needs to note that my goal wasn’t in changing myself entirely but finding a balance.
One vital step I took that helped me get through this puzzle was that I had to first convince myself of why I needed to do this and why it was so important.
In finding the balance, I made it clear to myself that I wasn’t going to push myself too far.
Remembering that my introversion wasn’t a limitation helped to keep me in check. I told myself that mine was going to be a slow but steady win-the-race situation and that was exactly how I went about it.
Secondly, appreciating the benefits of introversion likewise the significance of extroversion proved valuable. Being an introvert had its benefits and so I knew that I could always do both.
Next, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to guilt trip myself as I tried to break this barrier. This was who I am. I have since embraced my introversion and I wasn’t going to start seeing it as a shortcoming.
Besides, finding people who understood my personality traits helped me find a balance. I was mindful of cycles where people tried to force me to conform to extroversion. I needed those around me to respect my boundaries and acknowledge that all of us can’t just be as assertive.
Learning to be flexible has helped me a lot. I can now adjust to fit into various social engagements as may be required.
This came with a lot of trial and error, however.
Having overcome this barrier, my feelings vary between relief, and a sense of pride for overcoming this obstacle. This journey has also reinforced a fact I know too well- that when I put my mind to something, I can do it.
I have also counted this journey of self-discovery as another milestone in my quest for personal development.
I have made stronger and more beneficial connections. I have met people who have led me to more opportunities than I have ever had before I surmounted this barrier.
I drove beyond my self-imposed limitations and I found that I am capable of so much more than I thought I could do.
Not only am I a better journalist than I was when I started three years ago, but my relationship with the people around me has improved greatly.
I recently met a classmate after a very long time and he didn’t forget to mention that I was a changed person.
Also recently, I had a conversation with a colleague who had always complained about my introversion and he pointed out that I was a much more relatable person than I was when he first met me.
These are all small, but very important wins in these aspects of my life.
Breaking barriers takes commitment before anything else. A barrier would always exist for as long as we fail to do anything about it. They aren’t always like seasons, which will go away when their time is up.
In conclusion, the lessons learned on this journey have reinforced a fact I know too well, but needed to remember: that challenges in life can be surmounted with the right amount of determination.
I have embraced my past failures as a stepping stone that has pushed me towards personal growth and success.
While this barrier appeared daunting from the start, it has provided me with an invaluable opportunity to learn and grow.
This is the 16th entry written by ASHENEWS reporter, Fatima Zahra Muhammad, that won the First Place in the 2023 Wakaso Award for Young Female Journalists in Niger state
