Top experts in reproductive and mental health have said that the sex of a baby can sometimes cause emotional stress for new mothers, especially when the baby’s gender does not meet family expectations.
They explained that this disappointment, combined with other medical or social pressures, can lead to deep sadness and may cause postpartum depression—a serious mental health issue affecting many women after childbirth.
In interviews with Reporters, the experts said postpartum depression is more than just feeling sad.
They explained that while some women may start out with mild sadness or “baby blues,” this can become long-term depression, anxiety, or emotional disconnection—especially if there is pressure over the baby’s sex or lack of family support.
They said that in Nigeria, traditional beliefs and family pressure—such as the desire for male children or having a certain mix of boys and girls—can add to a woman’s emotional burden and increase the risk of depression after birth.
Prof. Chris Aimakhu, the second Vice President of the Society of Gynaecology and Obstetrics of Nigeria, explained that postnatal depression is a complex condition caused by a mix of biological, psychological, and social issues.
He said that although people expect women to be happy after giving birth, some women become depressed for many different reasons.
“There is something called postnatal depression, also called postpartum depression,” he said. “A woman is expected to feel joy after childbirth, but instead, she feels sad or depressed. This condition is complex and may involve family history, like depression or bipolar disorder, where moods swing between happy and sad.”
Prof. Aimakhu, who teaches at the University of Ibadan, said the baby’s health and behavior can also cause emotional stress.
“If the baby cries a lot or doesn’t feed well, the mother may feel overwhelmed. She may not sleep well and face a lot of stress from adjusting to motherhood,” he said.
He also said that when partners, family, or friends don’t give enough support, the situation becomes worse.
“Limited help from loved ones, especially if the husband is absent, along with money problems or relationship issues, can make it very hard for the mother to care for the baby,” he said.
He explained that breastfeeding difficulties or a sick baby can also lead to depression. Many women expect motherhood to be joyful, but reality may be different.
“When women are told to breastfeed only, but their milk doesn’t come in, and the baby cries all the time, it upsets them,” he said. “If the baby is sick, the mother may blame herself. All these things add to the stress.”
He said some women become sad because they didn’t get the gender of baby they hoped for, and if the husband isn’t supportive, this sadness can last for a long time—sometimes up to a year.
“In today’s world, some women are not happy when they keep having girls, and the husband is not kind or helpful. This emotional pain can continue for a year or more after giving birth if not handled early,” he said.
He suggested that non-drug support should be the first step in treatment.
“Talking to family and friends, taking breaks, sleeping more, exercising, and enjoying life again can help,” he said. “Medicine is not always the first solution—emotional support can really make a difference.”
On how husbands can help, he said, “Support from husbands is very important. Men should help with both emotional and practical support, like helping with the baby and showing care.”
Dr. Sunday Amosu, a senior psychiatrist and research director at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Hospital in Abeokuta, also said that the baby’s sex can affect how a woman feels emotionally after birth.
“When a man doesn’t support his wife, especially if he didn’t want the baby or is unhappy with the baby’s gender, it creates emotional stress. For example, if a couple already has two boys and wanted a girl, but has another boy, and the husband blames the wife, it can cause sadness or depression,” he said.
Dr. Amosu said not all sadness after birth is postpartum depression, but long-lasting sadness should not be ignored.
“We look at sadness in two ways. First is general sadness, which can be due to changing hormones after birth. Hormones like oestrogen and progesterone drop sharply after delivery, which can affect mood,” he explained.
He said depression can develop during pregnancy, during delivery, or after birth. Triggers include lack of sleep, emotional stress, and no support from loved ones.
Globally, about 10% of pregnant women and 13% of new mothers suffer from mental health problems—mostly depression—according to the World Health Organization.
The WHO added that in developing countries, the numbers are even higher—15.6% during pregnancy and 19.8% after childbirth. In severe cases, depression can be so serious that some mothers may even think about suicide.
